Return of the Mitt

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1201273953Because we’re kind of obsessive, we often think about what Mitt Romney is doing. Newly-minted political hopeful Josh Romney told the media his dad was skiing in Utah with his mom, but in our minds Josh was covering for his old man.

We imagine Mitt is living kind of like the lead in a romantic comedy who’s just lost the girl. (Or, in this case, his presidential aspirations.)

He’s sitting on his couch in three-day-old boxer shorts, watching ESPN Classic while eating Cookie Crisp out of a giant mixing bowl. His coif remains perfect, but he’s grown out some unemployment stubble. In this twisted farce, playing the role of encouraging best friend will be Boston Daily!

Mitt, we’ll say, we’ve got a way for you to get the girl. Here’s what you do.

You’ve got to go to John McCain’s fundraiser next week.

The Arizona senator will be the guest of honor Wednesday evening at the Taj Boston hotel overlooking the Public Garden.

An invitation offers a private reception with McCain in exchange for contributing $2,300, the maximum donation allowed. The price for a follow up reception is $1,000 per person.

You’ve got to do this, Mitt. Dust the crumbs off your chest and shave off that stubble. Head into your closet and pick your favorite suit. The dark blue one with the red tie. Show up with a smile on your face and Ann on your arm, and let them know you’re not bitter about losing the nomination.

It’s the only hope you have of getting near the White House for the foreseeable future. But it won’t happen by accident. You’ve got to take it.

Cue montage set to “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves, and cut.

Source URL: https://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/2008/03/06/return-of-the-mitt/