Whitey Bulger Wears Down the FBI

1206112786The feds have caught a lot of flack for not yet managing to capture elderly felon James “Whitey” Bulger. The FBI has the mobster’s face up in every post office, and has even taken its plea to German television. Still no sign of the real Whitey.

The fatigue is setting in on those in charge of hunting down the fugitive. FBI agents have grown so punchy from the chase that they’ve started doling out noogies around the office.

Three Boston-based FBI agents may be fired because they decided to give one of the prosecutors in charge of Bulger’s case a noogie.

Three FBI agents were finishing a meeting with a female federal prosecutor in the federal courthouse in Boston in 2006 when one of them came up behind her, wrapped his arm around her neck and gave her a Three Stooges-style noogie, according to several law enforcement officials.

We know this case hasn’t gone your way, but a noogie won’t solve anything. Every kid knows a Wet Willy is the way to get things done.