Sour Caroline

When we learned that American Idol was going to have Neil Diamond night, we were immediately afraid that one of the contestants would ruin “Sweet Caroline.” Would David Cook put his trademark emo rocker twist on it? Perhaps Brooke White would turn it into a sad piano ballad.

But it was precocious David Archuleta who desecrated the Red Sox’s eighth inning anthem.

It all went to hell about two seconds into the song, when Archuleta opened with “where it began” and tossed in an earnest “mmm.” Did somebody forget to inform him that the song is about a little girl? It should not be tarted up.

Maybe it’s because we’ve seen too many karaoke versions of “Sweet Caroline” since the Sox started playing it in the middle of the eighth inning, but it just looks ridiculous when someone tries to sing it seriously. Nobody in the American Idol audience sang the “bah bah bah!” along with the horns. It was just wrong.

. . .Not that it will matter. Teenage girls love that kid. But we hope the ones around here had the good sense to skip power-dialing for Archuleta this week.