So Long, College Students

1211310950This may be the most perfect time of year in the city of Boston. It’s still too early for the scores of visiting families to jam up the sidewalks, but the teeming masses of college students are collecting their diplomas and leaving town.

We’re delighted that the stink of gin sipped from Poland Spring bottles on the B Line is dissipating, we’re overhearing fewer high-decibel inappropriate cell phone conversations, and we can go back to believing that leggings are a fashion trend that was left in the 80’s. But, before we say good-bye, we wanted to take a look back on all the moments we’ve shared with our young seasonal residents this academic year.

We started out by advising students on the best ways to blend in to their new home. But they erred so soon by rioting in the streets as the Red Sox won the ALCS. Thankfully, Judge Edward Redd sentenced them to write essays about what they learned and released the results for us year-round Bostonians to enjoy. Remember this gem?

“I cannot run around freely screaming everything that comes into my mind. . . . I have contemplated about my actions many times and come to appreciate that it is not always good to have the ‘go big or go home’ mentality,” [Matthew White] wrote. “This has been a very informative and eye-opening experience and because of it I am now a better person.”

David McCullough is right. Learning doesn’t stop when you leave the classroom.

That wasn’t their only criminal behavior. A Harvard student allegedly sold fake student IDs as well as the standard fake driver’s licenses. MIT students stole expensive chairs. But we have to say the fraternity that did $25,000 worth of damage to a Days Inn in Allston set the bar higher for next year’s newbies.

The undergrads did have your moments of actual brilliance. A Harvard student had the nerve to attempt to make Karl Rove look stupid. The school’s paper gave us one of the best headlines of the year. Though the whole Muggle Quidditch thing makes us fear for America’s future.

This year brought some dramatic changes to our local schools too. Boston University radically reinvented its logo, and Harvard’s art museums went crazy and changed both their name and logo. What strange times we live in.

So enjoy your summer at the Jersey Shore, kids. If you need us, we’ll be enjoying the relative quiet until elementary school kids on summer vacation start quacking at us from the Duck Boats.

They’re Baaaaaack!

Duck, Duck Lawsuit!