Subtle Symbolism Is Dead
It feels like eons have passed since the New Hampshire primary. Redwoods have sprouted, grown, and died since Hillary Clinton shocked us to profanity by winning the Granite State and setting up her epic primary battle with Barack Obama.
As the months wore on and it became apparent Clinton would not be the nominee, some Democrats accused her of fracturing the party. But no more—now that she’s officially out of the race, Clinton is rolling her reconciliation tour into New Hampshire.
It’s almost like they’re trying to tell us something. . .
Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton will attempt to bring the Democratic Party together on Friday with a rally in a tiny western New Hampshire town with a perfectly on-message name – Unity.
If that weren’t enough, Unity’s voters gave the two senators exactly the same number of votes – 107 – in the January presidential primary.
Details of the event haven’t been released, but we imagine the twosome will emerge to the sound of Queen Latifah’s “U.N.I.T.Y.” They will then join hands and thrust them into the air. After some rhetoric-laden remarks, the presidential hopeful and his former competitor will bury an actual hatchet. As they leave the event, two doves will be released into the wild. That’s how we would do it anyway.