The Fattening of Bruins Fans

Despite all our jokes about people not remembering them (and our issues with the team’s management), we actually enjoy the Bruins. It’s fun to say Marc Savard with a Boston accent. And any sport that encourages fistfights is OK with us.

We understand that the team, which hasn’t won a championship in 36 years, is having a hard time moving tickets. But we’re not sure that enticing fans to shell out $1,677 to watch a decently competitive team while gorging themselves on arena food is the way to drum up interest.

A fast-track to obesity and a mediocre seat to a hockey team that stumbled into the playoffs? Sign us up!

The $1,677 season tickets include the price of 43 home games, bottomless soft drinks and all-you-can-eat hot dogs, pretzels, popcorn and nachos with cheese.

Located in rows 2-15 of balcony sections 327 and 328, the seats are at the end of the Garden where the Bruins shoot at the opposing team’s net during only one of a game’s three periods.

There’s one element of the hockey experience missing from that list—beer. Sports teams in other cities offer packages that include watered-down beer in the all-inclusive price. Fans of the Braves can even feast on pulled pork while sipping their Bud Lite.

Even though the price per ticket comes out to a reasonable $39, we think we’ll hold off until we can suck down all the free Coors Light we can handle while watching the action.