Movie Metaphors for the Turnpike Mess

1216395699In today’s Globe, budget watchdog Michael Widmer likened the Patrick administration’s plan to cosign the Turnpike Authority’s loans to a chick flick.

“This is one of the most irresponsible proposals I have seen seriously considered by the Legislature in my 16 years,” said Widmer[.] “We are just heading off a cliff, Thelma and Louise, with a smile on our face.”

While we love the classic film about ladies on the lam, we don’t think it’s the right metaphor for the Turnpike’s financial situation. After the jump, we consider some more appropriate options.

Independence Day
Following yesterday’s report about the Big Dig debt’s effect on the state’s finances, we need something much more apocalyptic than two women committing crimes and discovering their true selves. If the Turnpike Authority’s debt were a space alien, it would be like this sci-fi epic’s infrastructure-destroying creatures.

The Godfather
The Turnpike Authority is going to make the state an offer it can’t refuse—bail the agency out, or all the roads fall apart.

Bruce Willis’ working class hero Harry Stamper must sacrifice himself to save the world. (Spoiler alert!) Meanwhile, the state must potentially sacrifice its relatively good credit rating to save the Turnpike Authority.

The Sixth Sense
We see dead bridges.

Star Wars
The Emperor spent tons of money on a huge public works project (the Death Star), only to have it destroyed by left-wing radicals. But unlike the Big Dig, the Death Star probably didn’t have any construction delays, since projects manager, Darth Vader, never hesitated to off people who messed up.