David Wade Leaves John Kerry for Barack Obama

1217534193We here at Boston Daily were devastated when we heard a rumor that John Kerry spokesman David Wade is leaving his post for a job with Barack Obama’s yet-to-be-named running mate.

“I’m taking a leave of absence through the election,” Wade tells Boston Daily. “Today’s my last day.”

While the relentless media pressure usually grinds the snark out of the strongest of spokespeople, Wade has boldly called out power players on the national and local scene during his time with Kerry. After the jump, we review some of his greatest hits.

Like most stand-up comedians, Wade sometimes works with a template. Take this 2006 attack on Karl Rove.

The closest Karl Rove ever came to combat. . . was these last months spent worrying his cellmates might rough him up in prison. This porcine political operative can’t cut and run from the truth any longer.

Wade recycled the construction when he described Rush Limbaugh a year later.

[T]his is a despicable but unsurprising new lie from a man whose closest brush with combat came when customs officials tried to take away his Viagra.

This portly peddler of hate is once again wrong on the facts.

“Porcine political operative” is poetry. “Portly peddler of hate” is a pop song. One is art, one is entertainment, but both are hilarious.

Wade can diversify his remarks, especially when it comes to defending his boss’ propensity to pose for pictures with heavy drinkers. When Kerry posed next to an Iowan with a beer bong in 2006, his spokesman used it as an opportunity to tout the Democratic love of all things green.

[Wade] stressed that Kerry did not try the beer bong and joked, “Actually, since we were in Iowa, it was probably filled with ethanol.”

There’s also this latest stroke of brilliance in response to the Inside Track’s questions about the now-infamous TMZ pictures.

“I think when you’re a senator and you’re asked to take a picture you oblige,” Wade said. “But I’m glad we were able to spice up the afternoon for the Inside Track. That’s what we’re here for.”

Congrats, David. We hope the Obama campaign appreciates your brilliance as much as we do.

Photo courtesy of David Wade