Is the Cheeseman the Biggest Loser?

1219333452Carmen “the Cheeseman” DiNunzio is rather large. The Herald has reveled in the reputed mobster’s grossly obese physique, and reports today that DiNunzio’s pulmonary physician has asked the feds to let his 400 pound client out of his East Boston apartment for two hours a day so he can work on his fitness.

Dr. Aaron B. Waxman says in federal court papers DiNunzio, 51, “is on a strict weight loss program because of diabetes and heart failure[.]”

Somehow, we don’t think a membership to Bally’s is going to solve this dire situation. What DiNunzio needs is a stint on The Biggest Loser.

The Biggest Loser has helped other morbidly obese Massachusetts residents shape up. Marblehead’s Neil Tejwani weighed in at 421 pounds at the start of the reality show’s fourth season. According to his website, Tejwani lost 211 pounds during his time on the program. Similar results would put the Cheeseman at a svelte 189 pounds.

The feds would be happy, because DiNunzio would be less likely to visit his cheese shop if he’s sequestered away on a ranch somewhere in the southwest. The Cheeseman’s medical team would be pleased because he’d be working out for several hours a day. And we think the viewing public would be delighted to see the gruff Boston boy talk smack to his trainers.

We can see it now. The producers would doubtlessly stick DiNunzio on toughie trainer Jillian Michaels’ team. As she barks at him to do 10 more pushups, DiNunzio would stop his workout and glare at her.

“I’m gonna throw you off the f—ing roof, lady!”

Come on, NBC. It’s ratings gold!

Biggest Loser logo from the NBC Store