Can Man Subsist on Kevin Youkilis-Endorsed Foodstuffs Alone?
We don’t know who’s going to win the MVP, but if there was an award for endorsements, Kevin Youkilis would certainly be a finalist. It seems like everywhere we look, the Red Sox first baseman’s face is staring out at us from another label.
Which got us to thinking: Is it possible to eat three meals a day comprised solely of products endorsed by Youk? Let’s investigate.
For breakfast, we’d start with Youk’s Signature SlumpBuster. The Globe reports that the controversial energy drink is now available at Walgreens locations around New England. Red Bull may give you wings, but SlumpBuster brings your swagger back.
Once the jitters subside long enough for us to safely handle a can opener, we’d crack open a container of B&M Baked Beans for lunch. Youk appeared in a downright frightening newspaper insert for the brand back in June.
Dinner gets tricky. We could fly to San Francisco to visit Maverick, his brother Scott ‘s restaurant. While our favorite first baseman hasn’t explicitly endorsed the establishment, the brothers did team up to create Youk’s Hot Sauce.
If we’re strictly abiding by the Kevin Youkilis only rule, we’d probably have to take a few shots of the hot sauce for our last meal, but that would leave plenty of time for dessert. We’d savor a glass of SauvignYooouuuk Blanc, paired with a “Yoouukk!” Bar.
It might not meet the guidelines set forth in the food pyramid, but we think we could last a day or two on the Youkilis-endorsed product diet. And with a portion of the proceeds from the sale of everything but the baked beans benefiting Hits for Kids, we’d feel good about eating so badly.
Image from Phillips Candy House website