Building Blocs

Pundits can’t create enough trite voter blocs. During the primaries, it was broken down by coffee preferences. Now that we have our two finalists, we start getting into the Mom and Dad blocs.

You know, the NASCAR dads and the infamously pitbullish hockey moms (who are not to be confused with soccer moms, security moms or simply hot moms). But these are only a small cross-section of the parents who make up the electorate. Let’s examine some of the lower profile voter blocs, and the people who could best represent them.

Chess club moms
Hockey moms get all the glory since shuttling their progeny to pre-dawn practices causes them to go months without sleep. But chess club moms’ kids could one day face off against a computer. Until hockey moms have to deal with the emotional fallout from their little one being bested by a robot goalie, these women remain the most hardcore.
Candidate for this bloc: Bill Gates

“Cats in the Cradle” dads
It’s not that they don’t care about their children—it’s just that they’re busy. Or have a baby mama who is less than thrilled to see them.
Candidate for this bloc: Tom Brady

Juno moms
If teen pregnancy rates continue to rise, these young ladies will have to be wooed by somebody. Once they’re old enough to vote, that is.
Candidate for this bloc: Bristol Palin

Vicarious living dads
These are the guys who insist their sons excel in athletics, despite their offspring’s complete lack of physical might or grace. The boy can typically be seen begging to be left to catalog his Pokemon card collection while dad bellows from the sidelines.
Candidate for this bloc: Roger Clemens