Tabloid Sabotage?! Start the Presses! Oh, Wait…

1222276213There’s a mystery brewing over at One Herald Square.

The tabloid’s printing presses were vandalized sometime between 3:30 and 8:30 p.m. yesterday. The vandal was thorough, cutting 15 conveyor belts and messing with six sorting machines. The damage was so bad that it affected today’s print run.

(The tabloid cited “problems in the newspaper’s production departments,” in an online announcement, but the link now sends you to a story about Deval Patrick.)

We love a good whodunnit. Let’s review the suspects.*

Printing Press Staffers
Motive: They’re about to lose their jobs.
Alibi: The Boston Business Journal reports the union that represents the employees is happy with the way the closing was handled. “What could have been a rancorous and bitter situation was handled professionally and business-like under very dire circumstances,” the unnamed union official said.

Marty Baron, Globe editor
Motive: Nothing sells papers like a media feud.
Alibi: The broadsheet is stopping some of its presses too. But if somebody sees Herald editor Kevin Convey slinking away from the Globe’s presses next week, we’ll know something’s up.

Rogue Patriots fans
Motive: Retribution for the continued employment of John Tomase; the hiring of Ron Borges.
Alibi: They were too busy booing the team for dropping a game to the lowly Miami Dolphins.

Judge Ernest Murphy
Motive: Um.
Alibi: Well, he certainly wasn’t at work. If Pat Purcell gets some ink-stained notes on the leftover court stationary Murphy had kicking around the house, it should be an easy case to crack.

*We don’t honestly believe any of the above are actually suspects.