Winter Hill Gang HQ Goes to God

No, this is not The Onion. This is seriously happening. The Somerville News reports that the former auto body shop-slash-gang command center will soon be transformed into a Pentecostal church.

Taking their place now is [Collin] Green – a well-dressed 51-year-old Jamaican man with a wide, gold-toothed smile who said he “wants to uplift the depressed and sad people in the world” when he preaches. His church is the Somerville Church of God and its 50-person congregation is ready to grow with a new location, he said.

We appreciate the irony, but this is pretty lame.

With the local history of developing once-macabre locales into luxury settings (hello, Charles Street Jail Liberty Hotel), they couldn’t have turned the old garage into condos for true crime buffs? Hell (sorry), Howie Carr probably would have bought a place in the hopes of channeling his muse, a la Dane Cook.

As if Carmen “the Cheeseman” DiNunzio wasn’t proof enough the once-mighty mafia has fallen, now they’re forced to sell their property to nonprofits. Somewhere in Europe, Whitey Bulger is pissed.