Irene Prep, Masshole Style
Okay. This weekend was definitely a little anticlimactic.
What was shaping up to be the storm of the decade — a dead-on in-your-face category three — turned out to be nothing more than a run-of-the-mill tropical storm. Yes, there was plenty of rain, a lot of wind; we lost some trees, a lot of us lost power, and a number of streets flooded. But compared to what it could’ve been — and to what other cities got? We lucked out.
That said, if it had hit us, we’d have been frickin’ ready. Because when things were looking grim, this town stocked the heck up. Now the city recommended, among other things, bulking up on emergency supplies like medical kits, flashlights, batteries, plus enough food and water for three days. But (and this is why I love Boston), when the city says ‘get water’ — we get water. And then we get beer to chase it with.
Fortunately, thanks to modern media, all of our preparations were thoroughly documented, and I took the liberty of rounding up my favorites here. This, readers, is how Massholes get ready for a storm: (P.S., speaking of documentation, thanks for catching me grabbing a case of water at the store, Channel 4. And for deleting — I think — the footage. I grew up in Florida, okay? Hurricanes were a big deal!)
Beer Buy 30+ cases of beer, remove beer from cases for drinking and build a beer-box sculpture to greet Irene.
More Board Games “At a mobbed Target store in Woburn yesterday, nearly all the Monopoly games had sold out, and some customers were buying milk two jugs at a time.” Yes, Monopoly. I didn’t know anyone even played Monopoly anymore.
Armageddon-Appropriate Quantities of Batteries and Water As in shelves-stripped-bare-no-more-for-you. The CVS by Symphony Hall, by the way, was still missing the a good half of its battery stock — particularly the Ds — on the shelf as of 5:30 p.m. Monday.
Even More Beer @bhalpin Bizarre lack of panic shopping in Boston. Plenty of bread, milk, water in stores. People mostly buying beer. #Irene
Yessir, we take our hurricanes like we take our hurricane-themed cocktails. Chock full o’ booze.