Belichick, Enough with the Cut-Off Hoodies

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Enough with the cut-off hoodies, Bill Belichick. How many sweats will have to die for your fashion crimes? It’s frustrating enough to watch you pacing the sidelines in the same grubby bro-wear every week, so you can imagine my shock and horror when the NFL network dressed several of the Boston’s famed statues — including Mayor James Michael Curley, John Singleton Copley, and oddly, the tortoise and the hare in Copley Square — in matching sweatshirts sans arms (of course) yesterday to promote the premiere of “Bill Belichick: A Football Life” tonight. (Clearly this was a play ripped from the Bruins fans’ book; who could forget the “Make Way for Ducklings” statue suited up in mini jersey-capes before the Stanley Cup Finals?)

I have to believe that Christopher Columbus rolled over in his grave when he saw his bronzed likeness attired in such a schlub suit.

To be sure, the Patriots don’t have the best sartorial track record — see: anything Randy Moss wore off the field; Tom Brady parading around in a mullet and Uggs. But, as one of the faces of the organization, would it kill Belichick to put on a polo shirt or an unaltered windbreaker? A winning record doesn’t give you carte blanche to dress like an aging grunge rocker.

And, remember when GQ called Boston the worst dressed city in the country? Well, they also named Bill Belichick as one of the worst-dressed coaches in the NFL. It pains me to agree.

Now, Paul Brown, coach of the Browns and then the Bengals in the ’50s, ’60s, and ’70s, knew how to dress: suit, tie, vest, houndstooth fedora. Yes, a houndstooth fedora. That’s a guy who means business. [I should have mentioned, as commenter NFL Rule Book points out below, that the NFL now regulates exactly what coaches can and cannot wear on the sidelines. BB probably couldn’t dress like Paul Brown and follow the rules. I was feeling nostalgic.]

Keep on doing what you’re doing in the locker room and on the field, Belichick. But, maybe consider a snappier look or — baby steps — a sweatshirt WITH SLEEVES? Love, your fans.