Bill O'Reilly's Greatest Hits

Illustration by Pablo.

In this month’s issue, Barry Nolan ponders whether Bill O’Reilly could have a personality disorder. Here, we’ve dug up clips of O’Reilly’s, um, better moments. Watch, and enjoy:

“I just don’t think we could’ve lucked out to have the tides come in, the tides go out, sun go up, sun go down. Don’t think it could’ve happened.” — O’Reilly makes a tough case for the indisputable existence of God while speaking with Richard Dawkins.


“Many women who get pregnant are blasted out of their minds when they have sex. They’re not going to use birth control anyway.” — O’Reilly gives his opinion on both women who dare to do something crazy … like have sex.


“Fuck it, we’ll do it live!” — Bill can’t understand the teleprompter. (If you’d like to see this as a remix set to dance music, which we highly recommend, go here.)


“I don’t see any difference between [Arianna] Huffington and the Nazis.” — Well, Bill, there’s the uniforms, to start. Oh, and the mass genocide.


Colbert: “They’re haters, Bill.” O’Reilly: “They are, they’re scum.” — Bill O’Reilly, on his critics.


“Don’t block the shot!” — Bill O’Reilly is upset when his shot is blocked.


“I don’t care about the constitution” — We know, Bill.


Geraldo disagrees with O’Reilly and an epic screaming match ensues.

Bonus text quote: “”Knock [Afghan, Libyan, and Iraqi] food supply out and their water supply out and those people will have to overthrow the Taliban. It’s either that or they die.” [The Rational]