How Not to Rob a Bank

Note to bank robbers: Getting the money is only half the job. Then you have to get away.

Maybe Timothy Walton realized that yesterday morning after he allegedly robbed the Century Bank in Somerville. But instead, he ran, on foot, into a moving police cruiser, catapaulted himself over the windshield and came to a rest on the pavement nearby. That’s not how you’re supposed to do it, Tim.

It all started relatively normal: Walton, a 25-year-old with a Dorchester address, allegedly handed a note demanding money to a bank teller. The teller complied (as tellers are apt to do), handing the robber a bag of loot including some bait money. Walton reportedly left on foot after bank employees notified the police and was seen a few minutes later changing clothes in a nearby yard. The change of clothes was good thinking, Tim.

But maybe changing in someone’s yard in the middle of the day wasn’t so bright. A neighbor called to report the unauthorized costume change and police took it from there, tracking Walton as he allegedly scurried behind some neighboring houses in an attempt to liberate himself out toward Broadway. But upon seeing a cruiser he switched directions and headed back toward the bank while police set up a two-block perimeter around the area. This is the part where it goes bad, Tim.

And then, like an unpredictable-probably-desperate robber trying to do whatever it takes to be free, Walton plowed directly into a passing police car. He reportedly tried to renew his flight after that, but was apprehended and taken to a hospital where he spent the night under guard. It just goes to show you, Tim: It’s obvious you paid attention to what they taught you in grade school; with the energy put into your escape, you might have even liked gym class.

But you missed a key lesson that’s usually taught in kindergarten: Always look both ways when crossing the street. And if you can’t remember that, it’s best to put down whatever you’re holding (money bag, change of clothes) and take the hand of a responsible adult. If you can’t find one right away, don’t worry. You’re bound to run into one sooner or later.