Meddling Boston Muggles Shut Down Quidditch Team

Boston’s park officials are stopping Emerson’s quidditch team from running around on brooms playing an adapted version of Harry Potter’s magical sport, The Globe reports. Apparently the team did not get the appropriate permit to use Boston Common, so the park department was like, “Yeah, you’re going to have to Avada Kedavra this game or we’ll Accio the cops” and the Emerson team was like, “fine, let’s go get some butterbeer.” You can stop the wizards, Boston, but we bet you’ll never catch the golden snitch becau– what’s that? Oh. We’re getting reports that there is no golden snitch, as quidditch is fake. [Boston Globe]