This Is How Not to Satisfy Your Late-Night Cannoli Craving

The Suffolk County District Attorney’s Office has alerted us to what must be the most daring of Italian dessert thefts ever committed in the North End that we’re aware of. (It should be noted that we can’t actually think of any other notable Italian dessert thefts committed in the North End, and that this one failed miserably.) Irishman Robert McTernan allegedly snuck into the kitchen of  “a beloved North End bakery,” (we’re quoting from the D.A.’s press release here but they mean Bova’s Bakery on Salem Street.)

Take it away D.A.:

Boston police responding to a call at 3:38 this morning for a person with a knife at the Salem Street scene found McTernan inside the kitchen. McTernan, who had flown into Boston just hours previously for a two-week vacation, allegedly entered the kitchen and picked up a blue-handled kitchen knife, concealing it by placing it against his forearm. Prosecutors say he then demanded a cannoli, which an employee handed to him before backing behind a counter. McTernan allegedly told the victim to “shush” and placed his finger to his lips.

So yes, this actually doesn’t sound like a very good plan, but perhaps he assumed no one would begrudge him a single cannoli. (Welcome to Boston, buddy.) Or, as we noted this week, maybe the newcomer wasn’t prepared for the dearth of good 24-hour dining options in this city. The timing of this incident seems to indicate that this guy had a case of the late-night munchies so bad, it drove him to a life of crime… Petty, poorly conceived crime.