A Brown-Warren Debate Drinking Game for the Debate Weary

Scott Brown and Elizabeth Warren will face each other for a third debate, this time in Springfield, Massachusetts, tonight at 7 p.m., and if you’re feeling a little debate-weary these days, what with presidential, vice presidential, and congressional debates thrown in the mix, well, you’re not alone. In fact, with the previous two debates between the Senate candidates treading a lot of the same territory, we’re a little skeptical that a third or fourth debate could really cover significant, new ground on the differences between them or substantially change the dynamics in the race. (Though we hope to be surprised.)
In the spirit of lightening things up, and making some predictions as to the frequency of certain Brown and Warren tropes, we’ve devised a little debate drinking game for you and yours. Here are the rules:

THE CANDIDATES

•  Each time Brown says “Professor Warren,” or begins an answer by thanking the moderator for his question: Sip your drink.

•  Each time Warren says “hurting,” “hammered,” or “the system is rigged”: Sip.

•  Each time Warren says “Republican”: Sip.

•  Each time Brown says “Republican”: Shot.

•  If Brown mentions Mitt Romney: Shot.

•  If Brown says “Independent”: Have some water. We don’t want this to get out of hand.

•  If Brown endorses Barack Obama: Break out the funnel.

•  If Warren suggests she might like to cooperate with Republican Senator Olympia Snowe once elected: Finish your drink.

•  If the moderator brings up the Native American controversy in the first five minutes: Shot.

•  If Brown says Warren “checked the box”: Sip.

•  If Warren refers to herself as a “person of color”: Saki bomb.

•  If the moderator brings up Big Bird: Chug.

THE COVERAGE

•  If the Herald makes a terrible pun on their cover tomorrow like “WESTERN MESS!” or “SPRING-FELLED” with a picture of Warren looking sad: Get yourself a beer at lunch.

•  If the Herald makes one of those exact puns on their cover tomorrow: Buy us a drink.

•  If Buzzfeed publishes something like “Ten Biggest Gaffes In Gifs” after the debate: Shot.

•  If you can say “Ten Biggest Gaffes in Gifs” ten times fast: Pat yourself on the back, but this isn’t about you.

•  If broad consensus emerges that one candidate handily defeated the other: Haha we’re just kidding, (though as President Obama proved last week, it isn’t unheard of.)

These are, of course, more facetious suggestions than hard-and-fast rules. Please do drink responsibly if you decide to imbibe. After all, you don’t want to be hungover for the vice presidential contest on Thursday night. And tune in tonight. We’ll have coverage for you (and this guy, at least, will not be playing his own game. But wouldn’t that be a fun live blog if he were?)