Boston, Last Night's Storm Revealed the Goddess in You

Or just the Classics nerd.

Wednesday’s unexpected snowstorm marked the first time The Weather Channel got to break out its snazzy new system for naming winter storms. This fall, The Weather Channel announced they’d be giving winter storm systems names, similar to the kind employed for hurricanes, in order to unify discussion of the storm and better instill fear into the hearts of an unprepared populace. They dubbed Wednesday’s snowfall “Athena,” and the use seems to have caught on in headlines and on Twitter. This is good news for The Weather Channel, because other weather organizations have been hesitant to adopt the naming plan. It is even better news for the Classics Nerds among us, because we get to determine the ways in which Winter Storm Athena resembled her namesake, the Greek Goddess Athena. The parallels were surprisingly myriad:

• Traditionally, Athena is known to be a Regulation Hottie, and judging by our Instagram feed filled with photos of urban landscapes in Boston and New York, a lot of people found last night’s snowfall to be similarly pleasant looking.

Athena is hot, but not as hot as Aphrodite, says Paris. That’s why she made it look like this?

• Athena is commonly referenced as being silvery gray. That’s probably an apt descriptor for the sky and the ground after Winter Storm Athena.

• Athena is the goddess of warfare. Commuting to work through the slushy puddles of misery this morning felt a bit like a trek through a battlefield.

This is, of course, a deeply satisfying exercise for the nerd in each of us. Nevertheless, we hope this storm-resembles-namesake trend stops here and now because we took a look at some of the names the Weather Channel has planned for the season’s storms and there are some rather unsavory characters on the list. Xerxes? Triton? Gandolf? (Okay, Winter Storm Gandolf would be awesome.) What would Iago, known for being a back-stabbing conniver, or Brutus, known for being a front-stabbing conniver, or Zeus, known for being a swan-raping conniver, bring to the Boston area? Let’s just cross our fingers its a mild winter and we’ll never have to find out.