A week after he announced by text message that he wouldn't be running for Senate this year, Scott Brown gave a hint about two ways he might occupy himself, both of them rather more lucrative than the public sector. On the one hand, he's in discussions with Fox News about becoming a contributor, according to Politico. More concretely, he announced that he's joining the corporate board of Kadant Inc., a Westford paper company. This news prompted the internet to collectively spasm as each of us rushed to make the only genre of joke that comes to mind at the mention of paper companies: jokes about NBC's (and the BBC's before that) popular sit-com The Office. Ah yes, The Office and its documenting of the pedestrian happenings of Scranton-based paper company Dunder-Mifflin.
There were many valiant (and not-so-valiant) attempts to draw parallels, but here are our three favorites:
— Dan Munz (@dan_munz) February 6, 2013
That there is a joke about Scott Brown's terrible late-night spelling.
Scott Brown's paper company job is going to start off shaky, get really good in seasons 2-5, then decline slowly until Steve Carrell leaves
— Logan Dobson (@LoganDobson) February 6, 2013
— Hesiod Theogeny (@Hesiod2k11) February 6, 2013
That one there gets clever when you recall that Oscar is sleeping with a state senator in the show.
Anyway, Brown sounds slightly more eloquent than Michael Scott in his statement about the move: '”Kadant has been on the forefront of designing and manufacturing equipment to recycle and produce paper for decades. I look forward to sharing my knowledge and experiences and contributing to the future direction and growth of this global leader.” Good luck. Say hi to Jim and Pam for us.
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