Here Comes National Doughnut Day

Get your free doughnuts on Friday.

At the risk of overwhelming you with news about sugary rings of fat this week, we do have to alert you that Friday June 7, Dunkin’ Donuts will once again be giving away free doughnuts with the purchase of a beverage to celebrate National Doughnut Day … which has just become so over-commercialized in recent years, don’t you think? I mean, really, National Doughnut Day used to have meaning.

Ha, ha, just kidding. Who the hell’s job is it to declare a National Doughnut Day, anyway? Hm? Oh. The Salvation Army, you say? And it was created way back in 1938 as a patriotic remembrance for the “doughgirls” who served soldiers doughnuts on the front lines in World War I? Wait, so it actually did have meaning? And that sense of patriotism has been entirely replaced by the opportunistic commercialism of our corporate doughnut overlords?

Huh.

Well, anyway, getting back to the part about free stuff, Dunkin’s not the only one with glaze in the game here. Other doughnut chains have announced promotions, too. Unlike Dunkin’, Krispy Kreme is just giving the doughnuts away for free, no coffee required. But do we care about Krispy Kreme? Were we indoctrinated with “time to make the donut” ads from Krispy Kreme through the better part of our youth? Is our city’s cultural identity hopelessly entangled in the corporate fate of Quincy-founded, Canton-based KRISPY KREME? No, of course not.

So get thee to a Dunkin’ Dee. Or, if you want to grow portly supporting a smaller local business, Union Square Donuts in Somerville tweets ominously that they have something special in the works too.