Not-So-Scientific Study Suggests Massachusetts Men Are Well-Endowed

An online prophylactic store used their sales data to rank the states against each other.

Online condom store has used their rather unique data set to compile a ranking of average condom size (and by implication, average penis size) by state. Massachusetts comes in fifth. (And really fourth, because D.C. shouldn’t count.) So congrats, men of Massachusetts, though we imagine that’s only a source of regional pride to you if you’re not an outlier. (Otherwise, what do you care?) Time magazine has the full list but the top 10 are:

1. North Dakota
2. Rhode Island
3. South Dakota
4. District of Columbia
5. Massachusetts
6. Ohio
7. Arizona
8. Alabama
9. New York
10. South Carolina

This is, of course, more corporate press release than peer-reviewed science, so don’t endow it (sorry) with too much faith. We don’t know much about the data set or the methodology the site used, nor do we know whether the differences between states were significant. And they’ve issued rankings in previous years that haven’t been particularly consistent. Mississippi was 22nd in 2010. It’s 50th now. That’s a big leap for just three years. So this is probably nonsense, but hey, no one needs to tell that to Mississippi.

Those issues aside, using condom fit to deduce a man’s goods is actually a method real academics have leaned on. A July study, by sexuality researchers at Indiana University, got around the obvious difficulties of allowing men to self-report their size by sending their subjects condoms, sized to the measurements they sent in. Dr. Debby Herbenick explained to Psychology Today:

 If they reported a bigger-than-reality size to us, they would get a baggier condom. If they reported a smaller-than-reality size to us, the condom would be too tight.

So, hey, there’s at least some wisdom to’s method. Not enough to call it actual science, but maybe enough to bolster your big … ego. (Sorry again.)