Massachusetts Is Filled with (Crazy, Neurotic, Intelligent) Cat People
Massachusetts has the highest ratio of cats to dogs in the United States, according to data published in the Washington Post. That’s right, we are a land of cat people.
Almost certainly the headquarters of companies like YouTube and Buzzfeed—whose business models rely solely on understanding and tapping into the psychoses of cat people—are having serious meetings today to discuss relocating to the Bay State in light of this news. It’s just good business. For according to the data, there are 1.87 cats for every dog in Massachusetts, putting us in first among states, just ahead of Maryland (1.83) and Maine (1.66). The Washington Post notes that places with high population density tend to favor cats because they are compact, whereas there isn’t as much space for dogs. On the other end of the list, larger, less dense states like Arkansas and New Mexico have the highest dog to cat ratios in the country. Massachusetts does indeed have the third-highest population density in the U.S. Maybe this is just a reflection of simple human geography. Or our history of witchcraft.
Or maybe it tells us something about our collective character. The internet, after all, has long been pandering to the hordes of cat enthusiasts who turn to it each day by presenting studies showing the benefits of cat ownership. From this we know that cat people are smarter. They are more open. And they don’t have to play fetch, which can get pretty old, if you ask us. Plus they get to wook at de adowable cat twing to jump to de window! Awwwwww.
Of course, for every pandering headline, there is an internet troll pointing out the downsides to cat ownership, and from this we know that cats are making us insane. Cat people are less social. They are more neurotic. And they are more “distinctive,” which seems to be a euphemism for “weird.” Go figure.
Do all these pros and cons align with Massachusetts? Are we a smart, neurotic, quirky collection of people. Is Arkansas filled with stupid, outgoing, cool kids? It is a question so colored by your inherent love for either cats or dogs (or maybe fish … but no one supports fish-lovers), that it is nearly impossible to answer satisfactorily. But at any rate, cat or dog person, know that in Massachusetts, you are firmly in cat-person territory.