Lone Person of Logic Tom Brady on Deflategate: ‘This isn’t ISIS’

'No one is dying. We'll get through this,' Brady said at the press conference.



After the nightmare that was Bill Belichick’s deflategate press conference from this morning (repeat: he knows nothing), Tom Brady took to the podium this afternoon to address the situation. Without any introductory statements, he opened up the room for an immediate question-and-answer segment.

Watchers knew this presser was going to be a good one when the first question was, “Is Tom Brady a cheater?” Then cue a series of more melodramatic questions from reporters nationwide: “What would you say to your teammates, Tom?” “Do you think this is being blown out of proportion, Tom?” “Tom, are you confident that nobody on the Patriots’ side did anything wrong?”

Luckily, Tom Brady proves himself to be the only person with a logical standpoint on the situation. Well, also Jimmy Kimmel:

Jokes aside, Brady, much like Belichick, wasn’t fully knowledgable about what exactly happened to the footballs, but did agree that the situation is “very serious.” He repetitively acknowledged that “the integrity of the sport is very important,” but feels like the Patriots “won the game fair and square.”

“I would never do anything to break the rules. I believe in fair play,” he said from the beginning.

He later added, “This is a very important thing, that’s why I’m sitting here addressing it…I don’t like that this has taken away some of the accomplishments that we’ve achieved.”

Ron Borges of the Herald made a snarky comment, however, and Brady sharply responded, “What would you like me to say, Ron? I’m not sure.” Then Borges returned to the rock he was hiding under.

As questions began to escalate, and Brady stuck around for longer than necessary because he is a certified saint, the QB finally had some great words on this entire football scandal:

Overall, not much was resolved in Brady’s presser, but if the media got anything out out their expectations, it was the sexual innuendos that were unfortunately inevitable. So take these at face value.