Rob Gronkowski Is a Man-Child on the Playground Called Super Bowl Media Day

Very few surprises here.

rob gronkowski

Associated Press

In non-blizzard news, the Patriots arrived in Arizona just in time for Super Bowl media day at the University of Pheonix Stadium.

Neither Tom Brady nor Bill Belichick could retreat from the spotlight entirely—Belichick was being chummy in flip-flops while the rest of us back home are trapped in a snowpocolypse, and Tom Brady’s hair was doing its thing. Meanwhile, Rob Gronkowski excelled at being Rob Gronkowski, cut loose from most forms of adult supervision save for the overly eager press corps.

Gronk became the center of attention by doing a reading from A Gronking to Remember, an erotic novel based on the one and only. “Oh, I’ve heard all about it,” he said when a journalist asked what he thought about the novel. “I think it’s pretty funny…I’ve seen many posts about it, and my friends sent me some clips from it. I haven’t read the whole thing, but it’s pretty funny.”

The journalist passes him the book, asking to read a highlighted line. And he proceeds:

No one is surprised that he giggles at the word “buttcheeks,” and then adds, “If someone wants it, that’d be pretty funny. Why not?” (You can watch the full video at Deadspin.)

But wait—there’s more. Other one-liners from Gronkowski include a shoutout to his “China fans,” and an arbitrary statement about his affection for animals: “I love puppies. Who doesn’t?” He also told the media that his childhood crush was Pamela Anderson, which explains so much about the human that he grew up to be:

And finally, there’s the full video of Gronk being interrogated by a reporter, who encourages him to sing along to Katy Perry. Gronkowski is either too embarrassed to sing along, or has no interest in obliging to such stupidity, but nevertheless, he succumbs to a version of karaoke. Watch: