All the Ways to Execute a Tom Brady Humblebrag
Humblebragger Tom Brady at Salem State / Screengrab via YouTube
Tom Brady is triumphant, you guys. A day after the NFL’s Ted Wells report threw shade at the quarterback for being “generally aware” of whatever led to Deflategate, Brady still happily obliged to make his scheduled appearance at Salem State University on Thursday night. He may be a “cheater,” but he’s no defeatist. In fact, he knows he’s glorious.
Sportscaster Jim Gray led the talk, of course pressuring Brady about the scandal, but Brady deflected all questions as gracefully as one could with Jim Gray. Instead, he drew attention to his lucky stars and existence as a general champion of life. And he did so in the most unassuming way.
Alas, we bring you: the Tom Brady humblebrag, as demonstrated by Tom Brady.
The ‘Gentle Acknowledgment of My Uber-Successful Career as the Best Athlete Ever’ Humblebrag:
Gray: What is your reaction, Tom, to the Ted Wells report?
Brady: I don’t really have any reaction. Our owner commented on it yesterday, and it’s only been 30 hours and hasn’t had time to digest it fully, but when I do, I’ll be sure to let you know how I feel about it.
Gray: Are you that slow of a reader?
Brady: Well my athletic career has been better than my academic career. Usually I’m used to reading X’s and O’s. This was a little bit longer.
The ‘Well, Did You Forget the Status of My Fame?’ Humblebrag:
Gray: When do you plan to address this publicly?
Brady: Hopefully soon. There is still a process that’s going forth right now, and I’m involved in that process. So whenever it happens, it happens. And I’ll certainly want to be very comfortable in how I feel about the statements that I make.
The ‘#Blessed’ Humblebrag:
Gray: You’re getting pummeled across the country, Tom. Do you care?
Brady: As human nature, you care what people think. I certainly care what people close to me think and what the care about. I also think as a public figure, you learn that not everyone is going to like you either. So good, bad, and different, there’re a lot of people that don’t like Tom Brady. And I’m OK with that, so, like I said, I have teammates that I love and support, and support me. I have fans. I have family. I’m very blessed.
The ‘I’m a Wholesome Family Man’ Humblebrag:
Brady: I was raised by a great mom and dad who support me. I have a lot of great teammates that support me.
The ‘Look at How Adored I Am!’ Humblebrag:
Gray: What are those people telling you? Share it with us.
Brady: They’re a little biased, aren’t they? But they love me unconditionally, and I love them unconditionally.
The Un-Humble Humblebrag:
Gray: Has this, however, detracted from your joy of winning the Super Bowl?
Brady: Absolutely not.
Gray: Why not?
Brady: Because we earned and achieved everything that we got this year as a team. I’m very proud of that and our fans should be, too.
The ‘You Should Totally Check Out This Thing that’s Not that Realistic for You Common People to Casually Check Out’ Humblebrag:
Gray: How was that trip to the White House?
Brady: Did the team go? Haha. Unfortunately, I couldn’t make it. I had a family commitment, but the team enjoyed it, and it’s such a great honor. I’ve been lucky to go there three times professionally, and once when I was in college. It’s a pretty cool place. You all should go sometime. Hopefully we’re back there next year.
Don’t ever change, Tom.
Watch the full interview below:
