Red Sox Fan So Disgusted, He Pukes All Over Fenway Park
Who knew there would come a time when we would yearn for the 2011 Red Sox. Sure, they crashed and burned in a blaze of chicken and beer and shame, but at least they made things interesting all the way until September. Hell, even the Great Bobby Valentine Song and Dance Revue of 2012 was at least a fount of comedy (Mazz is likely still giggling over Josh Beckett feeling woozy from a Z-Pak). This year’s team is so boring, the fanbase would rather pore over Manhattan legal filings and wax philosophical over destroyed cell phones, and it’s July.
The 2015 Red Sox are so awful, so putrid, that a fan blew chunks over the guard rail at Fenway Park, sending a shower of booted franks and $10 Bud Light cascading below. If Curt Schilling’s bloody sock was the defining symbol of ’04, and Steve Horgan the triumphant bullpen cop emblematic of 2013, this is avatar of the 2015 Red Sox: vomit raining down from above.
The Red Sox are finally completing their transformation into an Aristocrats joke.
[h/t Graig Murphy]