Bobby Valentine and Tommy Lasorda’s Fantastic Voyage, in Three Glorious Tweets

This is high culture of the finest sort.

Bobby Valentine managed the Red Sox through one of the worst campaigns in franchise history, with no shortage of third-tier scandals and in-fighting along the way: threatening to punch WEEI’s Glenn Ordway in the face, Josh Beckett’s Z-Pak-induced wooziness, the poorly attended funeral for Johnny Pesky, batting team albatross Scott Podsednik third, and so on. Since then, Valentine’s moved on to a cozy gig as athletic director for Sacred Heart University.

Tommy Lasorda, 88, twice led the Los Angeles Dodgers to World Series titles in the 80s, and was enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1997. Since then, he gave K-Pop superstar and Berklee dropout PSY the side-eye (PSYd-eye?) of the gosh-darned century at Dodgers Stadium in 2013.

Put the two together in the Dominican Republic, and you’ve got yourself a buddy-cop movie I’d pay gobs of money to see.

Valentine swung by the seaside city  of La Romana to accept the Latino Baseball Hall of Fame’s Tommy Lasorda Award, given to a non-Latino who made significant contributions to Latino baseball. (A statue of Lasorda stands outside the Hall.) Lasorda was there, as was former Cubs slugger Sammy Sosa. Before heading back stateside, the two appeared to have squeezed in a round of golf.

There’s so much going on here, it’s like Raphael’s School of Athens. The eye darts around, from the crooked banner held aloft with the daintiest of grips by the man wearing 3XL croakies, to Lasorda’s spot-on DeNiro impression.

Valentine tried taking a selfie while boarding his flight, but Lasorda had other plans, and may not know what a selfie, a photobomb, or portable electronic smartphone is.

Aboard the luxury jet, Lasorda seems to have transformed into the very avatar, the sole embodiment of Mondays. He is an anthropomorphic Garfield mug. Today, we are all Tommy LaSorda.