Northshore Mall vs. South Shore Plaza
When a craving for a Cheesecake Factory Glamburger or a strategically ripped pair of Abercrombie jeans strikes, denizens of both shores know what to do: make a beeline to the Northshore Mall or South Shore Plaza. So how do these froyo-slinging, Muzak-blaring teen magnets stack up? We paid a visit to both in search of megamall Valhalla.
Is there a Cheesecake Factory?
Northshore Mall: Yes, beckoning from the highway like a temple of gluttony.
South Shore Plaza: Yes, beckoning from the highway like a temple of gluttony.
Advantage: Neither (tie).
Let’s talk about the drive.
Northshore Mall: A depressing trip down memory lane starring the Hilltop Steak House, now a pile of dirt.
South Shore Plaza: No soft pretzel is worth merging into multiple lanes of Southeast Expressway traffic.
Advantage: Northshore. Hilltop died. You don’t want to.
What about parking?
Northshore Mall: Easy, with spaces aplenty.
South Shore Plaza: Harrowing, with several spots overtaken by months-old graying snow piles.
Advantage: Northshore. Did we even get any snow this winter?
Does it have good anchor stores?
Northshore Mall: The typical assortment: Nordstrom, Macy’s, and Sears.
South Shore Plaza: All the usual suspects, plus Target. Enough said.
Advantage: South Shore, of course.
How’s the food court?
Northshore Mall: The directory promises a Taco Bell. There is no Taco Bell. There is, however, a very friendly cashier (with a following) at Au Bon Pain.
South Shore Plaza: Bright and spacious, with atrium ceilings. There’s also a Cheeseboy.
Advantage: South Shore.
Tell me about the crowd.
Northshore Mall: More chatty old men than at a urologist’s office.
South Shore Plaza: So many strollers.
Advantage: Neither (tie). Both will get in the way of your spring shopping spree.
How will shopping there change my life?
Northshore Mall: There’s a chapel right below New You Oriental Therapy.
South Shore Plaza: Why not visit Forever Flawless?
Advantage: Northshore, in a landslide.
Where can I drown my sorrows after maxing out my credit card?
Northshore Mall: Kappy’s Fine Wine & Spirits, across the street.
South Shore Plaza: Dave & Buster’s.
Advantage: South Shore. Go ahead, treat yourself to that Pineapple Coconut Glow Kone.
Northshore Mall: Pristine.
South Shore Plaza: Pristine.
*** WINNER ***
South Shore. With Target and Dave & Buster’s, it’s business in the front, party in the back.