Mike Huckabee Has Almost Certainly Never Watched the Ending of Jaws

Farewell and adieu, my dear Fox News pundit.

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee has said that his favorite movie is a toss-up between Casablanca and The Godfather, Part II. Chances are good he’s seen the endings of both films. The same cannot be said of Steven Spielberg’s 1975 classic, Jaws.

In a recent interview with Fox News’ Megyn Kelly, Huckabee compared Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump—who was recorded expressing his earnest desire to sleep with a married woman “like a bitch” and bragging that his fame and celebrity allows him to “grab them by the pussy”—to Captain Quint from Jaws. Sure, he’s rough around the edges, Huckabee argues, but at least he’ll save the day in the end.

Quint did not save the day. Brody saved the day. Quint was bitten in half.

HUCKABEE: I’ve said this about him, Megyn. He’s like Captain Quint in the original movie Jaws. He’s vulgar. He’s salty. He might even get drunk. He’s, he’s just a terrible—
KELLY: He doesn’t drink.
HUCKABEE: Well, hold on here.
KELLY: Okay.
HUCKABEE: He’s the guy who’s gonna save your butt and save your family. And so at the end of the day, when he kills the shark, you’re happy about it. Now, Hillary is the shark. She’s gonna eat your boat. She’s gonna have open borders, immigration out the kazoo. And so the choice is, do you vote for Captain Quint, who’s gonna save your family, or do you vote for the shark? That’s the choice you get to make.

Again, let’s review:

Kelly is right: Trump doesn’t drink, after watching his brother succumb to alcoholism. Quint, on the other hand, almost singlehandedly made Narragansett cool again. And besides, unlike Trump, who cited a bone spur in a foot he can’t remember to dodge the Vietnam draft, Quint actually served in the armed forces. Granted, his time aboard the U.S.S. Indianapolis wasn’t exactly Biloxi Blues, but at least he did his patriotic duty. Also, what shark has called for open borders?

Anyway, take a gander at our original, 1975 review of Jaws.