We Can All Agree Mitt Romney Is Completely Full of It, Correct?

Romney shared what looked to be a Faustian supper with President-Elect Trump.

Photo via AP

Photo via AP

Oh, Mitt.

You were just starting to curry sympathy back here in solidly blue Massachusetts. (Remember us?) Compared to the creeps packing their bags for Pennsylvania Avenue, your transgressions seemed tame. Your “47 percent” flap? “Binders full of women”? Strapping your dog to the roof of the family station wagon? Quaint relics of a simpler, more innocent time.

As Republican electeds waffled back and forth endorsing, unendorsing, not endorsing but supporting, not endorsing nor supporting but voting for, and your garden variety blind oath of fealty to Donald Trump, Romney—to borrow from the mission statement of a publication that’s since cozied up to the President-Elect—stood “athwart history, yelling Stop, at a time when no one is inclined to do so.”

In a hastily assembled speech in Utah, Romney delivered a scathing rebuke of Trump, ticking off all his failed business ventures from Trump Airlines to Trump Steaks, raising further suspicion over what “bombshell” lay in his (still unreleased) tax returns, and calling him the very embodiment of the “brand of anger that has led other nations into the abyss.”

“Here’s what I know. Donald Trump is a phony, a fraud. His promises are as worthless as a degree from Trump University,” Romney intoned. “He’s playing the American public for suckers: He gets a free ride to the White House and all we get is a lousy hat.”

What a difference nine months and a few marshmallows make.

Romney dined with Trump and newly appointed chief of staff Reince Priebus Tuesday night at Jean Georges, a three-Michelin star restaurant inside Trump International Hotel in New York City, with the secretary of state post rumored at stake. Per pool report, the men dined on young garlic soup with thyme and sautéed frog legs, and diver scallops with caramelized cauliflower and caper-raisin emulsion.

At least Cypher got a nice hunk of steak when he sold out.

“I happen to think that America’s best days are ahead of us. I think you’re going to see America continue to lead the world in this century,” Romney said, “and what I’ve seen through these discussions I’ve had with President-Elect Trump, as well as what we’ve seen in his speech on the night of his victory, as well as the people he’s selected as part of his transition, all of those things combined give me increasing hope that President-Elect Trump is the very man who can lead us to that better future.”

All it took was a few frog legs and the faintest promise of a cut of the grift for Romney to dutifully roll over for the same “phony” he said lacked the “temperament of a stable, thoughtful leader.” Perhaps Romney warned us that Trump’s “imagination must not be married to real power” because he knew how easily he’d be seduced by it.