The Art of the Celebrity Side Hustle
Just in time for Black Friday, we check in on what Boston’s favorite local stars are hoping you’ll buy this holiday season.
Signature Product: Purple Carrot/TB12 Performance Meals
Ideal Customer: Not for the nacho-loving, beer-guzzling Pats fan, the GOAT’s meal kits are reserved for folks who demand “peak performance” and are willing to give up meat, dairy, and eggs to get it.
Celebrity Pitch: “What we get out of our bodies is a direct result of what we put in.”
Consumer Review: “Forget about Deflategate—Tom Brady’s biggest crime is having the balls to charge $78 a week for this Purple Carrot meal kit.”
Signature Product: Champy Sparkling Wine
Ideal Customer: Party people wishing to transform life’s little moments into extraordinary occasions—for a mere $19.99 a pop.
Celebrity Pitch: “I’m a big fan of bubbles—that’s the gift I bring to people’s homes.”
Consumer Review: “Pleasantly surprised by Champy. Gets the job done, definitely a conversation starter.”
Signature Product: El Artista’s Big Papi Cigars
Ideal Customer: Fans looking to trade in the smoldering Fenway sausage grills for something a little more refined, but just as smoky.
Celebrity Pitch: “Perfect for sitting in my backyard and enjoying life.”
Consumer Review: “This medium-bodied premium from David Ortiz isn’t your ordinary celebrity cigar; this thing is a home run.”
Signature Product: Performance Inspired Nutrition’s Performance Whey Protein
Ideal Customer: The aspiring Calvin Klein model hoping to compete with Marky Mark—once they burn off those Wahlburgers.
Celebrity Pitch: “My favorite part of the day after hanging with my wife and kids is turning that blender on. To me, that is a little slice of heaven.”
Consumer Review: “Taste 1/10. I would like to see a video of Marky Mark downing [his] product without making a disgusted face.”
Signature Product: Aly Raisman Signature Series Gymnastics Equipment by Resilite
Ideal Customer: Olympians-to-be practicing the leaps, bounds, and double-twisting layouts that will land them on top of the world.
Celebrity Pitch: “I hope all you gymnasts like it and it helps you stay safe and injury free.”
Consumer Review: “This is great. Back handsprings were the bane of my existence as a seven-year-old.”
Signature Product: Dirico Motorcycles
Ideal Customer: Old Rathskeller regulars seeking to reclaim their rock ’n’ roll youth by cruising down Comm. Ave. on an edgy custom bike—complete with a rock-star-size price tag.
Celebrity Pitch: “The best way to spell freedom is motorcycle.”
Consumer Review: “The bike rocks and so does Steven Tyler.”
Photos courtesy AP Images (Brady); Allison Sepanek (Johnson); Keith Allison/Flickr (Ortiz); Getty Images (Wahlberg, Raisman, Tyler)