The Art of the Celebrity Side Hustle

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tom brady jenny johnson david ortiz mark wahlberg aly raisman steven tyler

AP Images (Brady); Allison Sepanek (Johnson); Keith Allison/Flickr (Ortiz);
Getty Images (Wahlberg, Raisman, Tyler)

Tom Brady

Signature Product: Purple Carrot/TB12 Performance Meals

Ideal Customer: Not for the nacho-loving, beer-guzzling Pats fan, the GOAT’s meal kits are reserved for folks who demand “peak performance” and are willing to give up meat, dairy, and eggs to get it.

Celebrity Pitch: “What we get out of our bodies is a direct result of what we put in.”

Consumer Review: “Forget about Deflategate—Tom Brady’s biggest crime is having the balls to charge $78 a week for this Purple Carrot meal kit.”

Jenny Johnson

Signature Product: Champy Sparkling Wine

Ideal Customer: Party people wishing to transform life’s little moments into extraordinary occasions—for a mere $19.99 a pop.

Celebrity Pitch: “I’m a big fan of bubbles—that’s the gift I bring to people’s homes.”

Consumer Review: “Pleasantly surprised by Champy. Gets the job done, definitely a conversation starter.”

David Ortiz

Signature Product: El Artista’s Big Papi Cigars

Ideal Customer: Fans looking to trade in the smoldering Fenway sausage grills for something a little more refined, but just as smoky.

Celebrity Pitch: “Perfect for sitting in my backyard and enjoying life.”

Consumer Review: “This medium-bodied premium from David Ortiz isn’t your ordinary celebrity cigar; this thing is a home run.”

Mark Wahlberg

Signature Product: Performance Inspired Nutrition’s Performance Whey Protein

Ideal Customer: The aspiring Calvin Klein model hoping to compete with Marky Mark—once they burn off those Wahlburgers.

Celebrity Pitch: “My favorite part of the day after hanging with my wife and kids is turning that blender on. To me, that is a little slice of heaven.”

Consumer Review: “Taste 1/10. I would like to see a video of Marky Mark downing [his] product without making a disgusted face.”

Aly Raisman

Signature Product: Aly Raisman Signature Series Gymnastics Equipment by Resilite

Ideal Customer: Olympians-to-be practicing the leaps, bounds, and double-twisting layouts that will land them on top of the world.

Celebrity Pitch: “I hope all you gymnasts like it and it helps you stay safe and injury free.”

Consumer Review: “This is great. Back handsprings were the bane of my existence as a seven-year-old.”

Steven Tyler

Signature Product: Dirico Motorcycles

Ideal Customer: Old Rathskeller regulars seeking to reclaim their rock ’n’ roll youth by cruising down Comm. Ave. on an edgy custom bike—complete with a rock-star-size price tag.

Celebrity Pitch: “The best way to spell freedom is motorcycle.”

Consumer Review: “The bike rocks and so does Steven Tyler.”

Photos courtesy AP Images (Brady); Allison Sepanek (Johnson); Keith Allison/Flickr (Ortiz); 
Getty Images (Wahlberg, Raisman, Tyler)

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