A Definitive Ranking of All the Stanley Cup Bets Boston Lost
Boston/St. Louis wagers from transit systems, libraries, local celebrities and more, ranked from less-than-impressive to high risk.
Boston establishments love nothing more than an inter-city championship wager. It’s fun for everyone! It’s great PR! We never actually have to ship a dozen live lobsters to a midwestern congressperson we’ve never heard of!
Thanks to that pesky defeat Wednesday night, the city’s going to have to show a little more St. Louis spirit than we’d like for awhile. However, not all Stanley Cup wagers are made equal—while some bettors must only add a few blue and gold accents to their social media profiles, others will be tearfully mailing off Boston delicacies or covering their ears as they blast Gloria. Ranked from lowest to highest stakes, here’s a list of all the bets Boston icons lost to their St. Louis counterparts.
The MBTA vs the St. Louis Metrolink
What was at stake: Initially? A Twitter “takeover.” After the Bruins lost? Something much less cool.
Are they making good on it? You be the judge.
On May 24, the St. Louis Metrolink contacted the MBTA with a proposition. “Interested in a friendly wager?” the little light rail system tweeted out to its—aww—17.4K followers. “The stakes: winner takes over the loser’s Twitter page.”
In an extremely on-brand move, the MBTA responded with unwarranted confidence. “Hello @STLMetro, you’re on!” the MBTA replied. “We haven’t beaten a St Louis team for a championship since the @RedSox beat the @Cardinals in 2013. We’re looking forward to it!”
Immediately after the game, the MBTA tweeted that they would be happily upholding their end of the bargain, allowing the St. Louis MetroLink takeover to occur shortly. Weird: not sure why the MBTA would ever want to spend a second apart from its army of Twitter fans.
HEY @STLMetro CAN YOU FIX THE DAMN RED LINE
— Matt Lieberson (@m_lieberson) June 13, 2019
Good luck on getting payout @STLMetro, 3/4 of the Boston metro population can’t even rely on the T to take them 3 miles on a daily basis
— Tyler Walsh (@tylerwalsh92) June 13, 2019
— Eileen Wyner (@ewyner) June 13, 2019
By morning, though, it seemed as though the takeover was not going to involve too much exposure to the T’s superfans for a St. Louis municipal employee. “The result of the friendly wager with the St Louis Metro is replacing the MBTA’s Twitter header photo with a photo of a Metro vehicle for one day,” a representative clarified in an email to Boston. We understand, St. Louis.
Boston Public Library vs. St. Louis Public Library
What was at stake: Nothing, really?
Are they making good on it? There was definitely hard work put into this.
While you were off booing the Blues, jumping up and down to “Shipping Off to Boston” and screaming at TVs in bars, the St. Louis and Boston Public Libraries were entrenched in a quiet yet impassioned battle. Over the course of the series, the libraries exchanged “book spine poems” along with the most cutting of fourth-grade-classroom-appropriate trash talk.
Hey @STLpubLibrary! Read ‘em and weep! Can’t wait to see the @NHLBruins and the @StLouisBlues face off on the ice tonight. #StanleyCup #BookSpineChallenge #LibraryFaceoff #WeWantTheCup pic.twitter.com/3QcT9YeLwc
— BostonPublicLibrary (@BPLBoston) June 6, 2019
Hey @BPLBoston, this is it! The last battle, for us and our teams! We know our @stlouisblues are ready for Game 7. #StanleyCup #LGB #wewantthecup #BookSpineChallenge #LibraryFaceoff pic.twitter.com/IRw3moqKyr
— St. Louis Public Library (@STLpubLibrary) June 12, 2019
While there doesn’t seem like BPL has a concluding task to complete as the loser, the two libraries have officially exchanged end-of-series niceties. Phew—the aggression was getting out of hand.
Stone Zoo vs. St. Louis Zoo
What was at stake: A festive redecoration of the losing zoo’s bear exhibit.
Are they making good on it? Yes.
The Bruins’ and Blues’ mascots are both bears, which inspired this face-off between the Stone Zoo and the St. Louis Zoo. Per the terms of the “beary-friendly wager” (as the Stone Zoo’s Facebook page described it), the zoo of the losing city had to deck out their bear habitat in the opposing team’s colors and share photos on social media. No word on when the blue and gold takeover will be happening at the Stone Zoo’s black bear exhibit, but a post on their Facebook page congratulated the Blues and assured fans that they would be upholding their end of the bargain.
Boston Harbor Cruises vs. The Arch
What was at stake: A signature dessert and some nautical marks of shame.
Are they making good on it? TBD.
Boston Harbor Cruises and St. Louis’ Gateway Arch agreed upon the following Stanley Cup bet: The losing team must send its signature dessert to the winner (gooey butter cake from St. Louis; Mike’s Pastry cannoli from Boston) and fly the winning team’s flag at full mast on a boat in their fleet. The captain of the boat must also don the jersey of the winning team. While one wonders how all this boat stuff was going to be carried out in the landlocked state of Missouri (maybe the Bruins flag would have flown on one of those old-timey Mark Twain river boats?), look out for the Blues’ signature colors waving above the bay soon.
Rep. Stephen Lynch vs. Rep. William Lacy Clay
What was at stake: All the finest local delicacies.
Are they making good on it? No word yet, but others in the House will certainly be holding them accountable.
According to NHL.com, local Rep. Stephen Lynch and and St. Louis Rep. William Lacy Clay required third-party moderators to help them set the terms of their Stanley Cup wager. Clay initially offered chocolates from St. Louis’ Bissinger’s Chocolatiers, “Anheuser-Busch products,” and a St. Louis favorite, toasted ravioli, but these terms were rejected by Clay’s Massachusetts colleagues in the House. So, he raised the stakes by swapping out the t-ravs for a slab of St. Louis-style ribs. However, it’s Rep. Lynch who will be sacrificing some Boston cuisine instead. Which of our regional favorites will be taking a trip to the Midwest? A Boston cream pie, a case of Harpoon, and a half-dozen live lobsters. “Rep. Clay can decide if he wants to eat them or set them free,” Molly Tarpey, Lynch’s communications director, told NHL.com.
Harpoon vs. Schlafly Beer
What was at stake: Brews and some branded gear for the losing brewery to sport in the taproom.
Are they making good on it? Yes.
If there’s one thing Boston and St. Louis have in common, it’s a deeply-rooted, wholehearted passion for beer—brewing it, drinking it, and sharing it. That makes Schlafly’s victory over Harpoon a particularly potent one. However, according to the terms of the agreement between Harpoon and St. Louis’s Schlafly Beer, the winner is the one who sends their signature brew to the loser, so there is a silver lining here: more beer to help us drown our sorrows. In a message on Twitter, Schlafly (which normally does not distribute to Massachusetts) clarified that their Pale Ale is indeed headed to Harpoon, and will be available for consumption in the taproom for one day this July. “The added bonus of winning a wager with a great brewery like Harpoon makes this historic moment even sweeter!” says Schlafly’s founding brewer, Stephen Hale. “Congratulations to the Boston fans and players on a great series.”
Six Flags New England vs. Six Flags St. Louis
What was at stake: So much.
Are they making good on it? You bet!
If there were ever a good time to get sick on a roller coaster…it might be Monday. Six Flags New England and Six Flags St. Louis set the highest stakes bet of all, and now the New England park will pay a serious price. On Monday, June 17, Six Flags New England will temporarily rename the Thunderbolt rollercoaster to “Thunder Blues” and hoist a Blues flag to the top of the ride—and that’s just the beginning. The first 100 guests to arrive at the park on Monday will receive complimentary St. Louis gooey butter cake, as St. Louis park patrons feast on a New England-sponsored smorgasbord of Boston cream donuts, New England clam chowder, and Boston baked beans (all definitely foods that you would want to eat before getting on a thrill ride).
Six Flags New England president Pete Carmichael will not be allowed to cower in shame alone—a blues band will follow him around all day. The icing on the cake? Anyone with a Missouri ID will be able to get into Six Flags New England for free any day next week, which will be very cool for all three people in New England who have Missouri IDs.