“IF U EVER LOVED ME STOP”: Texts Shed Light on BC Couple’s Final Moments, Defense Claims

Inyoung You's representatives have released what they say is a text message exchange with her boyfriend, Alexander Urtula.


Photo courtesy of the Suffolk County DA’s Office

This story and pages that it links to contain text messages regarding suicide that some readers may find disturbing.

Inyoung You, the former Boston College student indicted last month on involuntary manslaughter charges for her alleged role in her boyfriend’s suicide, will soon return to the US for her arraignment—and she’s bringing copies of text messages she and her boyfriend, Alexander Urtula, exchanged to potentially help fortify her defense, a PR firm representing You tells the Boston Globe.

Urtula, a Boston College biology major, died by suicide the morning of his graduation ceremony. In a press conference, District Attorney Rachael Rollins accused You of physically, verbally, and psychologically abusing Urtula in the months before his death. Citing text messages exchanged by the couple, Rollins said You threatened self-harm to manipulate Urtula, repeatedly instructed Urtula to take his own life, and persisted with her abusive behavior despite clear knowledge of Urtula’s spiraling depression and suicidal thoughts.

In the text messages released to the Globe by You’s PR representation, however, You begs Urtula to reconsider suicide. In the messages, You sends Urtula nearly 100 texts, becoming increasingly frantic after Urtula makes his imminent intentions of suicide clear. You’s representatives say that the messages could figure into her defense in court.

“I’m far away on a tall place and I’m not gonna be here for long,” Urtula writes. “I’m leaving everyone.”

“ALEX,” You responds. “WHAT SRE YOU [expletive] DOING. IF U [expletive] LOVE ME STOP.”

“You’ll have everything once I’m gone,” Urtula says. And then he stops responding. From the transcript, it appears that You continued to attempt to call and text Urtula despite his silence.

“please i need you,” she writes, each sentence a new message. “please. i need you so much please. i [expletive] love you like no [expletive] other please i’m so sorry. i’m so sorry if i hurt you PLEASE. PLEASE BE WITH ME MY LOVE PLEASE. [expletive] LOVE ME AND BE WITH ME O [expletive] LOVE YOU. PLEASE. please I’m so sorry i’m begging you please alex please. can you wait for 20 minutes please. PLEASE. DONT DO THIS PLEASE. IM BEGGING YOU PLEASE.

The Globe reports that You used her phone to find Urtula’s location—the Renaissance Parking Garage near Ruggles station—and took an Uber there. She also alerted Urtula’s brother and shared his location with him. Sources close to You’s family told the Globe that when Urtula saw You arrive at the garage, he jumped.

The district attorney’s office declined to comment on the texts. You’s defense team claims the transcript—seen in full here—is authentic.

If you or someone you know needs help, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741.