You Simply Must Say “Starch Me Up” at Thanksgiving This Year

I don't make the rules. Bill Belichick does.

starch me up

Photo illustration by Spencer Buell. Bill Belichick photo by Maddie Meyer via Getty. Mashed potato photo by Cris Cantón via Getty

Rarely does Bill Belichick let the gruff, stoic exterior show any cracks at all. But in the run-up to the mashed-potato-dense holiday season, the Patriots coach has given us a delightful peek into his holiday dining preferences this year, complete with a three-word phrase we all have no choice but to add to our repertoire. No, not “Do your job.” But “Starch me up.”

He uttered the phrase in an interview with the Greg Hill Show on WEEI Monday when asked about his favorite Thanksgiving side dishes, and professed a love for all things potatoes.

Oh boy,” he said, according to a recap from ESPN NFL reporter Mike Reiss. “It would be hard for me to turn down any type of potatoes. I’ll go with whatever — mashed potatoes, scalloped, baked … Load ’em up. Throw some butter on there. Starch me up.”

Starch! Him! Up!

He is, of course, correct about potatoes for the most part. Potato dishes can and do go horribly awry. But an even marginally well-prepared potato done any which way (and, as per coach’s advice, slathered in butter) are easily the highlight of any Thanksgiving spread.

So as you sit down to enjoy a delicious feast with loved ones this week, resist the urge to ruin the meal by discussing literally anything of any importance at all (up to and including all the tedious conversations about crytpo and NFTs we will surely be dragged into this year). Instead, delight your dinner guests by wearing your favorite disgusting tanktop hoodie and yelling “Starch me up!” into the kitchen as if you’re headlining a duck boat parade. That’s guaranteed to spark a much more interesting conversation.

On to the gravy!