How to Leave the Kids Behind, Guilt-Free

A step-by-step guide to letting go.


1. Get into a fight over dinner about the last time you did anything romantic together. Angrily book tickets to make a point. Forget to cancel them within 24 hours. Congratulations! You’re going on vacation.

2. To avoid any pre-travel tears, book the earliest possible flight so you have to say goodbye the night before. Remember, this is worth it when you’re trying to make a clean getaway.

3. Purchase an international plan for your cell phone. Tell yourself it’s for emergencies only. Then use up all the data that night checking the baby monitor.

4. Go to post a picture on Facebook and miss your spa appointment thumbing through photos of your kids eating breakfast and watching TV. Forget to post the vacation selfie.

5. Remember that your spouse is an actual person, and not just the stranger who drives your tots around. First one to mention the kids at dinner takes a shot.

6. Be careful. Have too much fun, and you might come home with another little one onboard.