Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Shop. . .

Crocs are taking over Boston.
Yes, we know all too well they’re already being sold at stores all over the city. But the company is continuing to expand its reach in the ugly-but-comfy footwear market by opening its first East Coast retail store in Faneuil Hall on Black Friday. Gee, how did we get so lucky?

Not only will the clown footwear be sold at the new location, but an array of products we didn’t even know existed will also be offered. For instance, the company is making a foray into clothing by combining the material of the shoes with fabric.

Croslite rt™ stands for “relaxed technology,” and makes garments lightweight, versatile, breathable and durable. In addition, Croslite rt™ enables garments to be resistant to harsh chemicals and heat, ensuring longevity after exposure to sun, UV light and sweat. Currently Crocs™ apparel is available in men’s and children’s styles.

So. . . do the shirts feel like plastic? That may be useful for children’s clothing since you could just hose them off when they get messy, but we can’t imagine the men in our lives wearing a $58 semi-plastic button down shirt. If God had meant us to wear Croslite he would have grown it on a plant.

The company is trying to get away from its bad reputation with the fashion-forward. The new Crocs store will also sell shoes from its YOU by crocs line. Billed as “the intersection of fashion and comfort” the footwear will feature the trademark resin only in the base of the shoe with more traditional materials elsewhere. But with a retail price between $139 and $299, we think we’ll stick with the brands we know.

By the way, we’re not the only ones on the East Coast who will be treated to a new outlet for the heinous footwear. New York will also get a Crocs store on Friday. Hopefully their shame will prevent them from giving us any crap about our fashion sense for a while.