How to Be a Buddha-ful Bride

Photo by Jonathan Pozniak Provided

You get a voicemail from your future mother-in-law. She heard you didn’t go with the band she told you to use suggested.

You get an email from the florist. This insane winter means lilacs aren’t blooming in time for your wedding.

You get a text from your maid of honor. She refuses to wear asymmetrical anything, and peach makes her look pale.

Boy, isn’t planning a wedding fun stressful frantic exciting?

Let’s face it. As much love and happiness as you’re feeling, there’s also a nice balance of panic and frustration that leaves you with that “let’s elope” feeling. To help you destress, we decided to turn to Rebecca Pacheco, a Boston-based yoga instructor, well-known OmGal.com, and author of Do Your Om Thing: Bending Yoga Tradition to Fit Your Modern Life (on shelves now).

Marrying her own true love in September, Pacheco knows all about how important it is to stay calm as a bride. Here are her top three tips for keeping your inner Bridezilla at bay:

Breathe.

It’s that in-and-out thing you’ve been doing for as long as you can remember. But the last time you worked on the reception seating chart, you felt yourself becoming labored.

“Take time each day to become more focused and less stressed by using a simple breathing technique called ‘equal breathing,’ which involves matching an evenly paced inhale to an evenly paced exhale,” Pacheco explains. “Start with a four-count inhalation, followed by a four-count exhalation. Over time, see if you can gradually increase to a five-count, then six, and beyond.”

The result? Reduced stress, calmed nervous system, lowered heart rate, and most of all, “you can think most clearly, make your best decisions, and soak up this precious time in your life,” Pacheco says. This is a must on the big day.

Treat tension like a tweet.

Just when you thought you had your mom in the palm of your hand, she breaks free and runs amok through your organized planning. No worries.

“When stressful situations arise, the best approach to communication is often a succinct one. Remove the drama, temper strong language and emotions, and stick with only essential information,” Pacheco explains. “This approach helps keep the lines of communication open and maintains your planning schedule while reducing the likelihood of a blowout, meltdown, or Bridezilla moment.”

Although 140 characters is probably a bit too short, the thought is helpful. “Brevity signals clarity, efficiency, and respect for others,” Pacheco says.

Register gratitude.

You want the silver tea set. He wants the Nespresso. A full-on argument ensues right in the middle of Macy’s.

“Gift registries are awesome, but if you’re planning a wedding, your life is full of gifts already,” says Pacheco. “Never lose sight of that fact in favor of menus and monograms, lists and linens. Each time you catch yourself spiraling into freak-out territory, take a deep breath, repeat some anchoring words, have a glass of water or go for a walk/run/yoga class. Remind yourself of what you value most, and be thankful you’ve found the man or woman with whom you’ll share your beautiful life…and linens.”

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