Rein in Your Ring Bearer

Here are a few tips on how to control this little one with the big job.

Photograph by Jill Person of Person + Killian Photography

Photograph by Jill Person of Person + Killian Photography

Consider him the mini-man of the moment. The ring bearer is the adorable little tyke who’ll be walking down the aisle with the all-important wedding bands. But boys will be boys, and they’re not always predictable. So we’ve gathered some insight on how to make sure your ring bearer makes a successful trip down the long aisle.

A ring bearer is typically between the ages of three and 12 years old, and since this is a sentimental ceremony, it should be someone close to the family—perhaps a nephew or the son of a close friend. Whomever you choose, you should feel comfortable giving this responsibility to him and confident he can do the job.

“The maturity of the boy is more important than his age when selecting the ring bearer,” says Salwa Khoory, owner of L’elite, winner of Boston’s best wedding accessories. “Sometimes if he’s very young, the bride will have a flower girl hold his hand and they will walk down the aisle together to ensure that the job gets done properly.”

With the boy capturing all your guests’ hearts and attention as the first man down the aisle, he should be dressed accordingly.

“There are a couple of options for the attire for ring bearer boys,” says Khoory. “Many brides want the ring bearer to look similar to the rest of the bridal party on the groom’s side. One option is to have him wear a similar tuxedo as the groomsmen.” To ensure the boy is comfortable, L’elite adds elastic in the back of the pants so they fit better and feel more comfortable. Another option is to custom-design the boy’s outfit.

“The venue and theme of the wedding also play a role in what the ring bearer will wear,” Khoory adds. “For example, if it’s a black tie wedding, it wouldn’t be appropriate for him to wear jeans and sneakers.”

Since the little man is probably not used to donning dress shoes, shoe choice is also important. “Most companies these days make formal shoes for boys that are comfortable,” says Khoory. “Typically we only see ring bearers wearing white sneakers or sandals if the venue dictates it, like a beach wedding. ”

Now that he’s dressed, the main concern is guaranteeing the ring makes it down the aisle.

No worries there: L’elite offers special customized ring pillows made with fabric from your wedding gown, which allow you to fasten the ring to them. “With the ring bearer pillows we create, we add ties to secure the rings,” Khoory says.

But if you’re concerned that your ring bearer might go rogue, it’s not uncommon to send him down the aisle with a fake ring for show, while the groom (or one of the groomsmen) carries the real rings in his pocket.

“The role of the ring bearer is an important one and should be carefully considered,” explains Khoory. “And the directions should be very clearly explained to him.”

The bottom line is this: No matter how adorable the child looks all dressed up in short pants and holding the cherished ring pillow, a tantrum or a plop down in the aisle can certainly disrupt your wedding. So choose wisely.

“Only the bride and groom will know which boy is most suitable for the job,” says Khoory. “And a beautiful ring bearer walking down the aisle is a delightful sight to add to any wedding.”


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