Republican vs. Republicans

Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney released a new television ad yesterday. The spot, titled “Change Begins With Us,” features a bucolic setting from which Romney chastises his fellow Republicans and says the party should “put [its] house in order.”

While the ad is pretty typical of Romney (the great outdoors, stern yet polite tone, amazing hair) we noticed something strange about this one.

We kind of agree with him.

Let’s take it line-by-line.

If we’re going to change Washington, Republicans have to put our own house in order.

Well, you don’t have a House right now. Nor a Senate. But the Republican party is a mess, what with all those sex scandals and that troublesome war in Iraq. So it does need to tidy its corner up.

We can’t be like Democrats – a party of big spending.

Despite the fact that not all Democrats spend like irresponsible teenagers, this makes sense. It’s nice to have a balance of spenders and savers in the federal government. Go on, sir.

We can’t pretend our borders are secure from illegal immigration.

True. They are not. As you know.

We can’t have ethical standards that are a punch line for Jay Leno.

That’s funnier than any of Leno’s recent punchlines. But by railing against homosexuals and philanderers, Republicans kind of cast themselves as the straight guys. Uh, so to speak.

When Republicans act like Democrats, America loses.

A mix of opinions in government is essential to keep America from spending a fortune in pork, or being too tight with its money. However, when the parties can’t agree on important subjects (like bringing exhausted troops home), America continues to lose.

It’s time for Republicans to start acting like Republicans.

We do kind of miss the old-school Republicans. For those who don’t remember, the Republicans of yore were loathe to spend the government’s money and didn’t want to meddle in the private lives of the American public. While Mitt has proven himself to be a consummate meddler, his sentiment is right on.

It’s time for a change and change begins with us.

I’m Mitt Romney and I approve this message.

We should hope so. You just read the entire script.