Hey, Ma, We’re Gonna Be on TV

We have a love-hate relationship with TV. It entertains us, but it makes us fat. It shows us beautiful people, but makes us feel ugly by comparison. But what happens when we are the ones on TV? There’s enough reality show casting going on this week that we may be able to find out.

Aspiring gourmets (or Rachael Rays) have their opportunity to shine tomorrow. The Food Network’s The Next Food Network Star will hold an open call at the Bulfinch Hotel from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. You need not wow the directors with your best pan sauce tomorrow—just bring an application, a resume, and a photograph. Judging by the network’s superstar chefs, you’ll also want to bring an eerily perky personality or a thick regional accent.

This weekend, lovelorn ladies have a shot at television stardom and true love. ABC’s The Bachelor will audition women on Saturday and Sunday at Felt. Although we’re bitter and jaded, Boston Daily will be there in the hopes that we end up more like Trista and Ryan and less like. . . every other couple to come out of the show.

We’re ready for our close-up, TV land. We hope you’re ready for us.