As If You Needed Another Reason to Avoid the Green Line

While casinos are not yet legal in Massachusetts, we’ve already got a venue for gambling within our borders—the Green Line. It’s always a risky bet. Sometimes, an inexplicably empty car will show up and you slide happily into a seat. Most times, you jam yourself against somebody who smells funny and coughs on your head.

Be careful who you’re leaning against, however. The MBTA reports there’s a perv on the loose.

Transit police are searching for a middle-aged man accused of groping high school students on the Green Line and exposing himself to teens on the trolleys.

The suspect is described as a white male in his 50s. He is about 5 feet 6 inches tall with a thin build and white hair. He has been seen wearing a long beige coat, beige dress shirt, beige pants or blue jeans, and sneakers. In each alleged assault, the man was also wearing sunglasses and carrying a newspaper or briefcase.

Great. Now not only do we have to worry about catching a cold from that guy who never learned to cover his mouth, but now we’ve got to be on the lookout for some guy unzipping his fly and molesting us. It’s almost enough to make us walk. Almost.