I Saw Mommy Groping Santa Claus

We understand why some women are attracted to Santa Claus. He seems like a pretty nice guy. He brings presents, and probably won’t judge anybody for gaining a few pounds around the holidays. But a woman in Connecticut took it a little too far, and is accused of sexually assaulting St. Nick.

In a piece titled “A lump of coal for Santa’s little groper,” the Herald details what happened when a woman got frisky with a mall Santa.

Santa Claus says a woman who sat on his lap was naughty, not nice.

“The security officer at the mall said Santa Claus has been sexually assaulted,” police Detective Lt. Thomas Michael said of the weekend complaint.

Sandrama Lamy, 33, of Danbury, was charged with sexual assault and breach of peace after the Danbury Fair’s mall Santa said the woman groped him.

The tabloid couldn’t get a comment from Lamy, but Danbury’s News-Times reached her.

The woman accused of groping Santa at the Danbury Fair mall denies she even sat on the man’s lap. “I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know if he was confused, it was a false report,” Sandrama Lamy, 33, said this morning.

She goes on to wonder if Santa’s just looking for a quick buck.

“Why would I do this? There were so many people there. If he (Santa) needed a few extra bucks I would have given it to him,” Lamy said. “I’ve never been involved in a crime or anything. This is shocking to me.”

You’re not the only one, lady. Like, what kind of grope was this? Did she affectionately rub his jelly-like belly, or did she make a grab for his sack full of toys? If this did actually happen, the kids who were next in line are going to need a lot of therapy.