Spanning the Web

Taking you around the internet for your afternoon enjoyment.

Wide receivers—they’re just like preschoolers! Donte Stallworth has an imaginary friend. His name is Nicco. He’s an alien. Your New England Patriots, Boston! [Deadspin]

What adult would want to work in those stores? Attorney General Martha Coakley has issued a number of citations to mall stores around the state, many of them at the Hollister stores in Hyannis and Burlington. [Boston.com]

Yet another career choice we should have considered: Hitman turned witness John Martorano received a $20,000 cash payment from the federal government to get his life started again after his release from prison. He got to live rent-free for 12 years and got a cash bonus? If you need us, we’ll be fostering a disregard for human life. [WCVB]

Firefighter trouble, part 7,974: Boston Firefighter Darrell Higginbottom will attend a meeting of the reform panel that was abandoned by his union. The union has threatened to expel Higginbottom (who is black) for his actions, which caused the Boston Society of Vulcans to speak out. [NECN]

And here’s what’s happening in our neck of the woods.

Bostonista
Hilary Swank walks into Melt: And gets the star treatment. Which means she was treated just like any other customer.

Chowder
We follow our nose: And find chicken and plantains in JP.