Checking in on Romney

1202314804We feel bad for tomorrow’s primaries in Ohio, Texas, Vermont, and Rhode Island. The nation has been through Iowa, New Hampshire, Super-Duper Tuesday, the Potomac Primaries, and all the other contests with cutesy names, but what should we call this round? Maybe we could get more excited if we blended the names like those annoying cell phone commericals.

Vertexio Island Primaries, anyone?

No, that still leaves us cold. There’s only one man who could bring the fire back to our relationship with presidential politics. And his name is Mitt Romney.

Last week, Josh Romney cruelly teased us by saying his father could get back into the race if the story about John McCain’s possibly inappropriate relationship with a lobbyist caught fire. Like the crazy pseudo-stalkers we are, we’ve been loading obsessively, hoping that more than a thank-you page will greet us. Nothing has changed.

We checked Mitt’s MySpace page. His last login was a week ago, and he hasn’t approved any comments since February 5, two days before he dropped out of the race. We were so disappointed we bumped Mitt out of our Top 24 and replaced him with our new friend City Councilor Mike Ross.

Come on, Mitt. You’re unemployed. All jobless people do is play around on MySpace. Get with the times.