Mitt Romney Turns Orange

If we’d spent a year on the presidential campaign trail, feigning enthusiasm for the very young and the very old while eating tasteless chicken dinners, we’d need a vacation. Since the bulk of the campaigning happens in New Hampshire, we’d opt for someplace warm. Preferably near a pool and a stocked liquor cabinet.

1206994813It seems Mitt Romney took some time after his defeat to soak up some rays. When he surfaced on Thursday to campaign in the West with John McCain he looked as orange as Lindsay Lohan.

What gives, Mitt? Here’s a picture from your MySpace profile that was taken at some point during your bid for the nomination. You look like any New Englander in the dead of winter—pallid. (But still handsome. Naturally.)

Then you walked out with McCain last week looking like this. Flannery thought you looked vaguely like Joe Biden, who, as you are no doubt aware, is a French-loving liberal. We know how much you hate that.

If you’ve been indulging in some fake tanner, we’d advise you to skip it for a few days and return to your natural color. We hope you haven’t been sunbathing that much. Shonda Schilling is going to kick your ass if that’s how you reached that particular shade of bronze.