High Times on the November Ballot

The cover of today’s Herald gasps, “Are They High?” To which we reply, yeah, a group called the Marijuana Policy Project that supports legalizing pot has probably toked up a few times.

The tabloid is upset because the organization has donated $200,000 to help pass Question 2, which would decriminalize possession of small amounts of marijuana in Massachusetts. Officials worry that the group is using the Bay State as a domino that will cause states around the country to relax their drug laws, turning us into a nation of hackey sack-loving stoners.

And this is a bad thing. . . why?

Just reading the newspapers every day is giving us an ulcer. The American economy is in a precarious state, and who’s in charge of cleaning up this mess? “Friend of Angelo” Chris Dodd and the Bush administration. The local housing market is bad shape. For the love of Bernanke, people have given up gambling they’re pinching pennies so tightly.

Here are our options: The state can start handing out Xanax like nicotine patches, or it can allow residents the luxury of smoking a joint at the end of the day. Remember how out-of-state gay couples flocking to Massachusetts to get married could be good for the local economy? If the state starts taxing marijuana like it does cigarettes, the money it would collect from locals and tourists alike would make up for the lost lottery revenue in no time.

Our roads will be in better shape, cities can build all the mega high schools they want, and maybe Somerville will finally get improved subway service. Not to mention the booming business convenience stores and pizza delivery guys would do to feed our munchie-plagued populace.

So, yes, the proponents of Question 2 may be high. But maybe we sober folks should join them.